Shame, a painful emotion rooted in feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness, can cast a long shadow over our sexual lives if it gets entangled in one’s sexuality. The disgust or humiliation directed at the self can have a pervasive influence on one’s identity as a sexual being as well as relationship impact.

The term “sexual shame” is even more emotionally loaded because of the inherent discomfort associated with both of those words, let alone when used together.  The issue deserves a continued spotlight on it, to help those held back, unable to enjoy sex or simply feeling cut off from their perceived right to be sexual beings.

People will have their own unique experiences around the roots of their sexual shame but there are some common sources:

• Cultural and Religious Influences: Societal norms, religious teachings, and cultural taboos can create a climate of shame surrounding sex, particularly for women, LGBTQ+ individuals, and those engaging in sexual practices considered outside the “norm.”
• Negative Experiences (Childhood or Later): Traumatic experiences such as sexual abuse, neglect, or witnessing unhealthy sexual dynamics can lead to deep-seated shame related to sexuality.
• Internalized Messages: Negative messages about sex, bodies, and pleasure absorbed from family, peers, or media can contribute to feelings of shame and self-doubt.

Many aren’t even aware they carry sexual shame. Because the topic tends to lurk in the…

2024 marks 10 years since my most recent suicide attempt and subsequent psychiatric admission. This is considerable progress for someone who has attempted suicide four times and has had over 20 psychiatric hospitalizations throughout the span of almost three decades.

I used to mark off the years that passed by without an admission on an imaginary chalkboard. I’d put an asterisk next to those that involved a suicide attempt. When I was readmitted, an imaginary eraser wiped the board clean, only to have to start again.

My first suicide attempt came in 1986. I was 25. I had been in therapy for about two years, and I didn’t realize how depressed I was. Getting up each day, taking the F train into Manhattan, and doing what was expected at work were all signs of normalcy. I wasn’t aware one could function and still be depressed. One night, at home alone, I felt as if it would be impossible to face the next day.

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, suicide is the 11th-leading cause of death in the US. In 2022, 49,476 Americans died by suicide and there were an estimated 1.6 million attempts.

The stigma surrounding suicide compounds the likelihood that people won’t share their intent. There is a feeling of embarrassment or that they must be “crazy.” A perception exists that their character is being judged, that they’re a bad person, or that they have failed.

In my late twenties, I was diagnosed with anorexia and major…

Visiting a mental health clinic for the first time can feel a bit intimidating, especially if you’re unsure of what will happen.

It’s normal to have questions, and having a clear understanding of the process can make the experience easier.

Whether this is your first time seeking help or you’re continuing your care, knowing what to expect can help calm your nerves.

This guide explains what happens during your first visit to a mental health clinic in Ottawa, making it easier for you to feel ready and informed.

 

Booking Your Appointment

 

Before your first visit, the process starts with booking an appointment.

Some clinics offer online scheduling, while others may ask you to call.

It’s important to explain your needs when making the appointment.

The therapists and counsellors at a mental health clinic Ottawa or those near you may ask whether you’re seeking therapy, looking for medication, or both so they can connect you with the right specialist.

 

Getting Ready for Your Visit

 

Once your appointment is set, it’s helpful to prepare.

Gathering any medical records or a list of medications you’re currently taking can be a good idea.

Also, think about why you’re seeking help and write down the mental health problems you want to discuss.

This helps you communicate clearly…

The cover story of Psychology Today this month, “Diagnosed In Adulthood,” made me think back to the timing of my own diagnoses. They all came in adulthood, in my late twenties: anorexia, major depressive disorder (with the modifier of with psychotic features added later), and borderline personality disorder.

This was 1990 and we had never heard of borderline personality disorder. Depression, yes. Anorexia, yes, but BPD, no. There was no internet to turn to, no way to research this diagnosis. We had to take the doctors’ word. Even though I was 29 when I was diagnosed with BPD, the team of the psychiatrists on the acute unit to which I was admitted following my second suicide attempt spoke to my parents and not to me. My mother didn’t tell me this until many years later, but the psychiatrists had told them the prognosis was poor and not to hope for much.

An article that discusses the life span of individuals with borderline personality disorder states, “Until around 1990, therapeutic nihilism prevailed concerning the treatment options of BPD. Since then, beneficial effects have been demonstrated for four comprehensive treatments: dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), mentalization-based treatment (MBT), transference-focused psychotherapy (TFP), and schema therapy.”

It looks as though I was right on the cusp. The psychiatrists’ prediction to my parents reflected the therapeutic nihilistic thinking that accompanied the BPD diagnosis right…

Positive affirmations are not just throw-away statements.

They are powerful tools that can help us overcome negative bias, tap into the power of positivity, and cultivate an optimistic outlook on life.

This supports our mental health by teaching us to be grateful for our blessings, increasing our confidence, improving our self-image and relationships with others, and retraining our brains to see the world in a positive light.

Are you keen to learn more about using positive affirmations to support your mental health?

Stay with us as we take you through it.

 

Overcoming Our Negative Bias Through Positive Self-Talk

 

Humans are innately negative.

Our brains are programmed to see the world through our negativity bias.

This dates back to the Stone Age when our cavemen ancestors’ negativity bias kept them safe from harm by helping them recall and store memories of traumatic past events.

But the truth?

Even though our brains are still hard-wired to be negative, today, we don’t actually need these primal thought patterns to keep us out of danger anymore.

So how do we retrain our brains, and rewire them to see the world more positively?

The answer is positive affirmations.

Drawing on affirmations and positive self-talk can help improve our outlook, and also, realign our…

Imagine being able to articulate exactly how you feel in any situation—whether you’re sad, anxious, happy, or peaceful.

This is emotional literacy: the ability to recognize and accurately label your emotions.

While this might seem simple, it’s a skill that many people, regardless of their role in life, often struggle to develop fully.

Some start with only a basic understanding of their emotional states, distinguishing merely between feeling good or bad about something.

However, as they enhance their emotional vocabulary, they gain the ability to make finer distinctions, leading to better decision-making, healthier relationships, and an overall improved quality of life.

 

Why Emotions Matter in Daily Life

 

We often hear advice to “keep your emotions in check” or “leave your feelings at the door,” whether at work, in social settings, or even within our families.

While this might sound practical, it can lead to unintended consequences.

Ignoring or suppressing emotions doesn’t make them disappear; instead, it can create barriers in communication, relationships, and personal well-being.

Here’s why embracing emotional literacy is essential for everyone:

1. Improved Communication: Emotional literacy enables you to express yourself clearly and understand the emotions of others, leading to more effective and empathetic interactions in all areas of life.
2. Enhanced Decision-Making: When you are emotionally literate, you can better manage your emotions, which allows for…